OK, very funny, you guys. Now get me down off of this coat hook and at least give me a chance to explain myself before you stuff me in that locker. Let's be honest, Honda's VTX1800R is a heavy motorcycle, especially to someone accustomed to the sporty side of the street. But as my experience aboard all different types of rides broadens, I'm beginning to find that weight is a much more relative topic than ink on paper would indicate.

I remember my first ride on a real street bike. Shortly after acquiring my motorcycle license, my friend Fast Freddie tossed me the keys to his '73 Triumph 750 Tiger. I was amazed at the huge weight difference between the Triumph and my Honda MT250 dual sport, and felt a little intimidated; but soon I found that the Triumph wore its perceived girth quite well and that even "heavy" bikes could be thrown around with little effort.

Fast-forward 23 years and that feeling of initial apprehension sets in as I first throw a leg over the big VTX. Despite the low center of gravity, there's still a bit of effort required to heft the bike off the long side stand. The fact that the guys at Honda set us up with a full complement of Honda Genuine Accessories (including a windshield, saddlebags, and tail pack) only serves to make the bike look even bigger. This illusion of large is actually compounded with a thumb of the starter that coaxes the two garbage-can-sized pistons into motion. The ka thumpa ka thumpa ka thumpa cadence of the big V settling into idle is oddly invigorating and soothing at once. You can tell that there's more than enough oomph to get this big boy up to speed.

Despite the bike feeling a bit sluggish in the parking lot, the weight issue soon becomes moot as the speed increases. It quickly becomes obvious that, like the old Triumph, the VTX wears its weight quite well. The low 27-inch seat height, coupled with the relaxed bend of the bars, the nicely contoured levers, and the forward positioned floorboards have this sport ridin' kid settling into cruiser mode. With the surprisingly smooth-shifting transmission dropped into fifth at freeway speed, the V-twin feels like it's barely above idle, leaving plenty of go-power just waiting for a simple twist of the throttle. When so motivated, the torquey twin thumps the pavement through a meaty 180-width rear tire that's spun by a smooth shaft drive, otherwise known as one less maintenance headache to worry about. A beefy, tubular steel chassis complements the smooth engine performance on the interstate. The long and low feeling VTX never even hints at any stability issues no matter the speed. The big 45mm fork and the chromed rear shocks provide a comfortable ride over most of the usual freeway joints, but the bigger bumps can deliver an unwanted jolt, especially to an unsuspecting co-rider atop the narrow pillion.